


Delicate

by unhingedtrepidation



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, I listened to alot of taylor swift writing this, Like, Maybe some angst, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, college to adult years, cute dog who makes random appearances, i don't know how long of a burn we are talking about, mutual pining but like everyone else they act oblivious to it, often flashbacks, sorry but there's hetero stuff in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26593492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhingedtrepidation/pseuds/unhingedtrepidation
Summary: She looks over to her fiancée, acknowledging the pain she's about to cause not only her, but the groom as well, and stands to speak as the priest calls for the last round of objection before solidifies this union. "I'm sorry", she says, looking to the girl. She stands tall, clears her throat, and in her bravest voice, she mutters," You're marrying the wrong person, Chris. It should be me, and you know it. "
Relationships: Christen Press/Original Male Character(s), Tobin Heath/Christen Press, Tobin Heath/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 80





	Delicate

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Y'all,  
> New to this fandom/writing. Trying something new. I originally had chapters longer, but decided to cut them up because I believe in mutual suffering for everyone!

They met on a Tuesday. 

At night, when she’s laying in bed, naked, next to the wrong woman, she remembers the way her curls took over most of her face.

The way she bit her lip when she was trying to concentrate, the ways her gentle laughs turned into hearty gasps when her neck was buried in places that were too intimate to be rated PG-

She remembers it all. 

But, as time stills, she remembers the bad. 

She remembers the fight they had before graduation, because the younger girl couldn’t decide whether or not she wanted to be with her.

She remembers the venom in her voice when she was told they’d never work, because they were somehow always two steps ahead or behind one another- 

But she also remembers when she told him “yes”, and the way it felt when her whole world fell apart.

She knows these feelings all too well. 

* * *

Tobin wakes early.    
She starts her day with a stretching regimen, aided with a strong cup of black coffee, and it’s topped off with a three-mile walk along the waterfront with the dog. She gets lost in her thoughts as she watches the dog sniff the same spots they pass daily, wondering how one can forget something that is so familiar. She laughs at that last thought knowing she too is in that same situation.    
She’s just too stubborn to admit it. 

The walk is over and they’ve ended up at the local dog park. 

She watches as the dog weaves between the obstacle course and how he knocks over the other dogs trying to get to the object that demands his attention: the damn squeaky ball. Her eyes catch the way the dog chases the object of his desire, wondering how he never tires over chasing the object that brings him joy. She wonders what it would’ve been like if she would’ve kept chasing the younger woman. Would they have been happy? Would they have ended up resenting one another for reasons unknown? Would their kids have the same curly hair, same temperament, and that hazy shade of green in their eyes? It’s not a very good thought to get lost in, especially when your fiancee is at home, laying in a bed you’d much rather share with someone else. 

Eventually, the dog grows tired of chasing the object that brings him joy and decides to lay down in the leaves as they get ready to leave. Tobin laughs then too, wondering if it all is just one big metaphor to her failed relationship with Christen, or if the universe is just speaking to her ways she’s ignored before. 

In no time, they both end up at home, ready to start the rest of their day. After the dog has been exhausted, it’s time for Tobin to exhaust herself. She gets ready for training, knowing that she’ll spend a good amount of the day focusing on the pain that her older joints bring, rather than the thought of Christen marrying someone else. She makes her way out of the closet, not wanting to wake the woman laying in her bed. She recalls how late they were up the night before and how wrong her name sounded coming from the woman under her. She figures it’ll get easier with time, knowing that once they both exchange their “ I do’s”, she won’t have time to think about Christen in that capacity. 

She loves Emma. 

She love her blonde hair, radiant blue eyes, the way her dimples crease up when she tells a horrible joke-

But she also loves her for all the ways that she isn’t Christen. 

She doesn’t love french fries, doesn’t love the thrill of filling out your planner for the week, hates the feeling of the sand underneath her feet- 

And instead, she loves last minute deadlines, procrastinating important work projects, and spending the holidays apart from loved ones.. but out of all things she loves, she thrives off of reminding Tobin that she isn’t Christen. Instead, she’s a stable and dependable woman, who doesn’t toy around with Tobin’s emotions at the expense of wanting to be loved. She’s consistent. She's been with Tobin since Christen decided to introduce them, knowing that she was going to marry Tom. He was going to be a hot-shot lawyer who could take care of her and her insecurities. She wasn’t sure what kind of dependability a professional athlete could offer. 

They were present for the engagement party, Emma knowing all too well that it was a pre-planned  _ proposal _ , instead of the Oscar watch party Tobin had thought it was. Emma remembers the way Tobin drank away her sadness after she heard her say, “yes”, and the way that Tobin roughly fucked her against the bathroom door when they got home that night, knowing that she needed to pretend that events of that night had happened. Emma is aware that she’ll never be Christen. She knows that Tobin will never look at her with the same glow that she does Christen, but she supposes she’ll be fine with it knowing that the one Tobin really wants to be with, is marrying someone else. She hopes over time that the woman will learn to love her in the same capacity, and eventually they’ll be able to move past this as wives- but she may be asking too much in the end. She wonders if she’ll be enough for Tobin. She wonders if she’ll be able to make her laugh the same ways that Christen did. 

She doesn’t really know as much about Tobin as she thought she did. But, she does know that she isn’t Christen, and maybe that is the saving grace for their future together. 

* * *

Across Town, Christen too, is waking up for the day. She doesn’t have a dog to walk, so she focuses on herself. That presents itself in the form of yoga, followed by a meditation session and a spinach smoothie on the way to work. 

Like every other morning, Tom is gone before she can muster up the strength to say goodbye and send him on his way with a red lipstick stained cheek. This has become their routine since they decided to move in together. Christen had wanted to remain on her own until the wedding, stating that it was important for her to “live independently” before she was forced to give up her bachelorette lifestyle, but the reality of it was due to the fact that she was not ready to be with someone who  _ wasn’t _ Tobin. She wasn’t ready for Tom’s bedhead, the way he tried to hold her while they slept, and the way she had to force his name out of her mouth when they decided to be intimate with one another. Tom argued that it was important for the both of them to get a feel for each other's behaviors prior to the marriage, wanting to save them time and money in the event that their marriage counselor couldn’t save their union after the vows were exchanged. 

Both Tom and Christen knew that the engagement was a mistake. Christen had voiced to Tom that he would be happy with a woman who would be willing to put out and make him his steak the way he liked, but he refused, stating that he would take care of Christen financially and mentally, knowing that she’d never be able to give herself to him emotionally. She wondered how they both could live in such an unhappy relationship, but figured that this is what adults did: Put themselves in situations that eventually destroy any sense of self worth they had to begin with. 

* * *

  
  


Tobin sorts through the mail when she finishes training, knowing that one of these days she’ll be receiving a wedding invitation from Christen. Her plan was to burn the invitation while downing half a bottle of scotch, but Emma had stated it was important for them to go, considering Emma had to see Christen everyday at work. Tobin laughs at the thought of her ex-lover talking to her now fiancee about attending her wedding, knowing that if it were up to Tobin, there’d be no wedding at all. 

She wonders how Christen mustered up the strength to even plan the event, knowing that she’d never be able to commit to Tom fully like a marriage required. She wonders if Emma too sent Christen an invite to their wedding. But then again, Tobin doesn’t really care. Tobin stopped caring a long time ago. 

She makes her way out to the yard where the dog is lounging, armed with a stack of unopened letters from Christen. She wonders if now is a good time to open them. She wonders if she should just burn them and move on so she can be the wife that Emma deserves- but she can’t help but think about the wife she’d be to Christen, if they would’ve chosen each other when they had the chance. 

**Author's Note:**

> Open for feedback, comments, you name it. I don't do Tumblr, so I'll try my best to respond to comments.. if any.


End file.
